I am afraid that some of us are using God to accomplish our wills, rather than allowing God to use us to accomplish His. Are we making God famous, or using God to extend our own fame? Since when did God became the vessel that we use? How degrading to the maker of heaven and earth. Since when did God become the tool by which his creation exalts themselves above Him? How prideful of such wretched men.
It is always a tough endeavor when questioning one’s intentions. First, we are not called to question the intentions of another man, but that is not what I am referring to. How do I know the intent of my own heart? When it really boils down, I can not possibly know if I am working selflessly. Maybe it is meant to be this way. I might be unable to know the desires of my own heart, but my God does. For He searches and understands my heart even better than myself. The more I surrender to the Spirit, the more I can trust His working in me. For it is no longer myself who works in me, but the God of pure love, justice, and grace.
The paradox: I release myself from selfish ambition to God, who only works for the glory of Himself. We can not afford to be selfish, but we can not rely on a God who is not. The word “selfish” carries negative connotations for us because we are told not to act in such a way, which is good advice. This is good because we are not good or worthy of any praise. On the other hand, If God is completely good, it is best for Him to act selfishly. If God is who He says He is, than He is the only one worthy of any praise, honor, or glory. So for God to be selfish is the ultimate good, and it is ultimately good for us, His children.
Does this not extend our perspective of grace? God, deserving of all glory and self-edification, chooses to include us, who deserve just punishment and damnation, in that glorification. Not only does He spare us from the pit of destruction and despair, He elevates us as sons in adoption.
The remedy: stop questioning myself, and place my life in the hands of the one who can always be trusted to work for the good of His own glory.