Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:32)
God’s love (cf. John 11:3, 5) will sometimes ‘break your heart,’ because God’s love is beyond emotional therapy; it is en route to His glory (cf. John 11:4).
Simply because biblical characters have been disappointed with Jesus does not standardize the practice as permissible. If anything, the Scriptures present the illustration as to point us beyond the faults of those characters. Why should we ever be disappointed with Jesus? What gives us that right? This assumes that our emotional pleasure is above His will and work, when truly, it is within His will and work.
Ideally, if Mary and Martha knew what Jesus was working in the death of Lazarus, which was ultimately a revelation of his supreme authority and glory, then Mary and Martha could have taken great pleasure in the death of Lazarus; they would have known that he would have been resurrected and that Jesus’ glory would be magnified. Knowing who Jesus was, they could trust that He was working to the ultimate end of His glory. The future vision of God’s glory is an opportunity for His creatures to delight in Him in any circumstance.
If you are disappointed with God, then your motivations, intentions, or pursuit is askew. Dependence on Christ implies a trust beyond temporal satisfaction and apparent understanding. Having trust in Christ, which is truly an eschatological hope, will instill the emotional delight; it will relieve the frustration of misunderstanding in the present circumstance. One must look up and out to be joyful within the now.
God’s love is defined by the extent of His dedication to manifest His glory. The most loving thing that God does is reveal Himself. This is because God is the most good, and thus we are most benefited in receiving Him through the revelation of Himself.
Therefore, in light of the greatest commandments, we are to love God and love others by treasuring Him in all things, seeking to point others to do the same.